Pregnancy

Dear Catalina,

Today is Mother's Day.  Our first mother's day together.  You slept in because we were out late at a wedding last night.  I'm still nervous when you sleep too long.  I sometimes shake you awake to make sure you're still alive!  You're so cute when you sleep.

Anyway, this entry is not about Mother's Day.  It's about how this journey began.  I wish I had thought to write more while I was pregnant.  I'm sure I can't express my feelings as well now, but I will try.

I guess I should really start with how your father and I met.  We met at the climbing gym in Flagstaff.  I had only lived here a few months and didn't know too many people.  Dad and I started talking at the gym one day and he invited me to go climbing with he and some friends.  He was so sweet (and nervous!)  He helped me change the battery out of my truck and we began to see a lot more of each other.  The rest, as they say, is history.  We bought a house after being together for a few years.  I'm not sure where we will be by the time you read this, so here is the location of the house we lived in when you were born.


View 3131 N Tindle Blvd in a larger map

Anyway, your father wanted to have a child.  I have to be honest, my darling, I didn't think I wanted to have children.  Not because I didn't like children, but ...well...  I was pretty selfish.  I thought that having a child will limit what I could do.  Don't worry, sweetheart, so far, I haven't regretted having you for one second!

So Daddy convinced me that we should have a child.  As you've no doubt noticed, I'm probably a little older than some of your friend's parents.  There are complications that come with waiting as long as I did to have children.  We were very worried at first that you wouldn't be healthy.  I found out that I was pregnant in June of 2010 and for the next few weeks I was pretty sick.  Food didn't taste very good to me.  I wasn't telling anyone about you yet, and that made everything a little harder.  When I was 13 weeks pregnant, we went to Scottsdale to have an ultrasound.  This would be our first look at you.  You can't imagine how crazy that is!  You were teeny tiny, but the doctor was already able to tell us that you were a little girl.  You looked like you were dancing while we were watching you!  It seemed like your little arms were really long and I started calling you our little chimpanzee.  Sorry about that.  The doctors said you looked healthy and we finally began to tell people about you.  Nana and Poppa were so happy and so was your Grandma.  I have to admit I was still a little nervous!

Dad and I took a vacation in September before I got too fat.  We had a great time driving across the country in our little Toyota pick up.  We went through Wyoming, Montana, Washington and Oregon.  We did a little rock climbing and saw Yellowstone and Glacier National Parks.  All the while we were trying to think of a name for you.  It was so hard for us to decide on a name before we met you.  It still seemed so strange that you were growing inside of me--yet I couldn't feel anything.

The first time I felt you kick me was around October 10th.  We had a friend who was giving a "sound shaman" presentation (I'll explain that to you some time if you like!).  We went along as his guests.  While I was laying down listening to the sounds, I felt a little flutter in my stomach.  It was so strange!  I knew it was you.  From that moment on, my little sweetling, you had me wrapped around your little finger!

That winter your dad and I caught some horrible bug.  We were so sick.  I had such a horrible cough, I didn't sleep for 8 days straight.  It was awful.  I was so worried I was hurting you somehow with all my coughing and wheezing--that was really a terrible time.

The next few months you got bigger and bigger and kicked me harder and harder.  Dad and I used to sit and watch as my stomach moved and poked out on its own (well not really on its own--it was you of course!)  The doctors were worried because my belly wasn't as large as they thought it should be.  They thought maybe you were too small.  So we had a few more ultrasounds.  You always had one hand covering your face during the ultrasounds so I could never get a very good look at you.  I was still so nervous that there would be something horribly wrong with you.  The doctors would just say that you were small, but that it seemed you were ok.  I would spend hours looking on the internet to try to figure out all the possible things that could be wrong with you!  It was excruciating to wait to meet you!

Your poor father worked so hard to remodel the house in preparation for your arrival.  We built a shed, turned our garage into an office, and turned the office into your room.  It was so much work!  Meanwhile you were growing and growing--and making me bigger and bigger!  We still managed to get to the climbing gym about once a week.  Everyone there was so excited to meet you.

But nobody was more excited than me and daddy.  Toward the end of my pregnancy I was so uncomfortable.  You were so big that laying down was uncomfortable.  I had horrible heartburn and once again, food didn't sound very good to me.  I was so looking forward to having you on the outside!

Ok, that's probably enough about the pregnancy.  I wish I could remember more of my thoughts, but now that you're here, its hard to remember what it was like then.

Now on to your birth--I can still remember most of that!

Love,
Mom