2 1/2 going on 20

Dear Catalina,
So much has happened in the last few months.  I'm afraid I haven't been able to update this blog.  I apologize.  Lately Mommy has been working at night and has had a few tough deadlines.  Things have been rough to say the least!  Here are some of the important milestones...

At the end of August, I went away overnight without you for the first time since you were born.  Uggh it was so hard.  Actually the lead-up was harder than the actual event.  I think because I was out of phone contact (no service) it made it easier for me.  I was so worried you were going to think that I had abandoned you, though.  Of course you were fine.  You got to hang out with your Daddy and that is always good for you.  Luckily once I returned, I had several days off of work so we were able to spend some quality time together.  You are such a character now.  You make up words to songs and say nonsense words just to be funny.  You are much more active physically and we have a hard time keeping you off the furniture.  You have also been running around in circles.  Puddles--you have discovered puddles.  We've had a lot of rain this summer and you love to splash in the puddles.  It is so funny to watch you and remember that not too long ago if your shoes got wet you would scream and cry!  You even walk in the grass in your barefeet--something you would NEVER have done 6 months ago.  I can't say enough how amazing you are.

After I returned from being gone for 3 WHOLE nights, we went to the county fair.  You were so obsessed with riding the ferris wheel.  Last year when we went to the fair, you were disappointed because you were too small to ride even the kiddie rides.  I was really hoping this year would be different, but you are still shy about 2 inches.  We WERE able to ride the ferris wheel though.  You and I went to the fair in the morning--it was so rainy they weren't even running the ferris wheel.  I finally convinced you to come home with me so we could come back in the evening with Daddy.  You didn't believe me (One of your new phrases is , "no that's not true" when we try to tell you something).  You were soo excited.  I have no idea from where that thought to ride the ferris wheel came, but you were not to be deterred.  Stubborn and determined--those aren't bad qualities to have as an adult--although they are kind of problematic at 2.5 years old!

Next week, we have decided to start you in a preschool/daycare program.  I have such mixed feelings, my sweet.  On the one hand, I think it would be good for you to be around other kids.  You will likely be an only child for the rest of your life, so you may as well develop social skills as early as possible.  And I could surely use the extra time so that I don't have to work all night long.  On the other hand, I so love having Tuesdays and Thursdays with you.  I feel like I am giving you away so someone else can raise you!  Or that I am working hard--just to pay for daycare when I could be home with you.  Honey, I hope you know that I am really trying to do what is best for you--and all of us.  I just haven't been myself lately and I think part of it is that I don't have time to exercise anymore.  I feel like my mind and body are both falling to pieces.  I want you to grow up in an environment in which physical activity is the norm.  But it makes me cry to think of missing out on those little changes that will happen to your personality.  Those sweet little moments when all you want to do is cuddle with mama--gosh I hope we can still have those.  You are my little sweetie pie.  I love you to the moon.....and back.

We'll see how it goes on Monday.

Love you lots and lots and lots,
Mommy