Well you successfully survived your first Halloween with your crazy mother. You were a chipmunk. Mommy spent weeks sewing your costume--and it turned out pretty good. Nevermind that many people called you a raccoon or a squirrel. I guess that will happen. You were totally a chipmunk and you rocked your costume! It seems that nothing we can do to you will ever make you any less cute.
Daddy worked really hard to finish my tree costume in time (we were both supposed to be trees--but he failed to take my advice that costumes take longer than expected and only one got finished). To his credit, he did a great job on it. Everybody loved it. Yeah another successful Halloween! Its mommy's favorite holiday, so you should probably get used to a bit of craziness around that time of year! I can't wait until you're old enough to share in the excitement.
We also went to Phoenix last week to visit with your Grandma Terry and your Aunt CJ and Uncle Zak and all of their children. Its really too bad we only saw your cousins for a few hours because I think you could benefit from being around kids right now. Unfortunately our timing this time was poor as you were up past your bedtime and not in a great mood for getting to know others.
Speaking of moods, you've recently decided that you are officially a "Daddy's little girl." That's right, you've turned your back on the person that carried you in her belly for 9 months, took great pains to give birth to you, nursed you for the last eight months, and took care of you for 80% of the time for your young life! I have to confess, it hurts my feelings to see you cry because you want Daddy to hold you instead of Mommy. It started a few weeks ago I guess--but it really became noticeable maybe the week before last. At first I thought it was because I went back to work part time and am gone for 9+ hours two days a week. I think that does have something to do with it, but I also think its because your daddy indulges you more than mommy. He is also generally less distracted when he is with you I think. In my defense, what was distracting me was how we were going to keep paying bills and the mortgage with both of us out of work, but I was distracted nonetheless. I knew eventually daddy would win you over with leniency, but I had no idea it would start so early. I still love you and find you irresistible--and I can only hope this doesn't get any worse as time goes on. I can't help but feel like I have somehow already lost my little girl. I know that's silly. If it sounds like I'm bitter--I guess I am a bit. I tend to be very sensitive to how other's treat me, so this hasn't helped my ego much! The problem is that now I feel like I need to be over-indulgent in order to "compete" for your love. I am a firm believer in discipline (a belief your father does not share). Not corporal punishment mind you--but that... well...that we don't always get what we want right when we want it. I'm probably a little too far to one extreme on that one--and your dad on the other. Hopefully you will end up with a balance. Please know that I did not want to go back to work. Originally when we knew you were coming, it was expected that I would work and your dad would take care of you, but when I lost my job before you were born--well that changed everything. You are quite addictive! Being home with you for those first few weeks really made me long to be mommy--to stay at home and take care of you and bake and make craft projects...and well, to be mommy. Unfortunately, I also knew that bills needed to be paid--and I didn't want to raise you out on the street or move in with nana and poppa because we didn't have any money. So I started to work. I hope you understand now that it was out of love for you that I went back to work. I still long to be mommy--but well, unfortunately you will have to share my time with other pursuits for now.
I love you so dearly and I apologize for anything I may have done to turn you away these last few weeks. If I could take it back I surely would!
As always,
I love you
Mommy
